At the beginning of our writing group, each member received a “Recovery College” writing pad. On the top of each page, there is a quote. The page I am onto now has this quote at the top.
“May the Bridges I burn light the Way”
That quote will be my writing prompt. . This is my five minutes of rambling and hopefully I might learn how to burn some bridges.
Burning bridges/letting go is evidently not my strong point. I hang onto day-to-day disputes/mishaps and then obsessively ruminate over them for days, sometimes weeks. I exhaust myself with the mental torture and I neglect my life by being caught up in so much internal drama.
Is that part of depression? Is it a BPD trait? Does it perhaps contain a deeper reason for an inability to truly forgive and let things go.
It’s difficult to let go and forgive my parents for the misery I experienced as a child. The emotional and physical abuse that leaves deep gouging scars, feel impossible to heal. We might be able to fill in the gouging cracks, but the scars are always there. Do we ever forget? I doubt it. Do we ever let go and learn to live with it? I sincerely hope we do, but it is a long road to recovery
So “burning bridges” has great significance to me. From childhood to the here and now, I’ve always been unable let go of the issues involving my parents. I wonder if this has a knock on effect on how I cannot let go of things today.
It’s becoming a major problem for me over the years. More recently, I have been in dispute with a mobile service provider. It takes huge amounts of my time; I’m stressed, becoming obsessively consumed by it and fail to focus on the here and now
In addition, I found myself in an unintended dispute with a local cleaning firm. Ruminating and ruminating, with adrenaline pumping about what was said, what should have been said and what WILL be said.
The consistent message coming from this writing class is to learn how to focus on the here and now – forgive and let go. That includes unimportant phone providers or cleaning firms that are not worthy of a second thought.
I wonder how other people deal with letting things go. Are you able to burn those bridges and move on?