Mediocre Therapy

Following my last post Stuck in Therapy & Resistance,” this week’s individual session and the group were rather neutral in comparison. My intention was to try to connect to supressed feelings, but it didn’t quite go to plan.

It all started Wednesday when I arrived home for lunch prior to my session with Paul and found an inconsiderate moron parked in my bay. I parked on the adjacent road, a wide-open space with plenty of room for vehicles to pass… that’s until the beer delivery truck arrived at the pub opposite and abandoned his lorry adjacent to my car.

It wasn’t long before passing cars were struggling to ease between my legally parkedthJE8SJ9RN car and the illegally parked lorry and a few curse words were hanging in the air. I was rushing to dress while watching from the window and as soon as the men finished offloading the beer, the driver calmly placed a note on my windscreen. My heart sank, imaging all sorts of damage to my pride and joy.

I got outside just as the lorry was leaving the street and curiously lifted the note from my windscreen and this is what it said,

“Great place to park, you cunt!

the next time I see your shit car I will smash you up.”

“Shit car?” cheeky git, it only has 3,000 miles on the clock. I would love to see what kind of wreck he drives. When I got over the initial man-insult, I saw red.

I detest people who place abusive notes on cars; their cowardly deeds never leave a reply address or a phone number. He had no idea who owned that vehicle. How would an older person feel to see such an aggressive and abusive note? I was furious, but had to put it on the backburner until after my session with Paul.

Oddly enough, when I was with Paul, it didn’t cross my mind to talk about what had just happened, even though I was sizzling underneath. I couldn’t work out whether the incident was distracting, or if it was Paul.

I was trying to tell him about the anniversary of my attack last Sunday, which wrote about here. I am in the process of finding a way of retelling the story that might help connect to the feelings, but this is no easy task.

I would say a few sentences and then fall silent, choosing my words carefully while searching for emotion. I have never wished for silence in therapy so much in my life, but Paul kept talking and talking and bloody talking at every opportunity.

th773T42SQMy biggest dread at the start of therapy was the silence and Paul was always mindful of this. His “reflections” are always about me, but repeating everything I say and continually checking out his interpretation is starting to grate on my nerves. I left the session feeling irritated with Paul and still reeling from the abusive note on my car.

The donut made a few mistakes that day (not Paul, the delivery driver) If he didn’t consider someone might be watching, he failed to notice there were workers erecting and testing CCTV just above my car.

While his handwriting and punctuation were impressive, it must have eluded his intelligence that he was actually writing the criminally offensive note on the back end of an official document from his company and the telephone number of Head Quarters is included for my benefit.

The last mistake he made is picking on someone who is sick of bullies assuming they can intimidate the rest of us into submission. I’ve had enough of saying it is okay, when clearly it’s not.

What would you do?

And now I’ve ran out of time to write about Friday’s group session, which was a rather bizarre end to the week.

Advertisements

44 thoughts on “Mediocre Therapy

  1. Priceless Joy

    I would put the rude note in an envelope addressed to either the President or CEO of the company. Haha! He wasn’t very smart, was he!? Tomorrow, you can tell us about your Friday bizarre therapy session. Sorry about Paul being so chatty that you couldn’t talk about what you needed to.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Cat Post author

      Lol, no Joy, he wasn’t the brightest button in the box. I know, Paul was such a pain and I couldn’t tell you the first thing he said, it was so unlike him. Normally, he can’t get a word in edge ways. Thank you, Joy

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  2. kat

    i would call the company and explain. if possible, i would meet with the company people to show them the note. if they refuse to do anything to try to make it right, then i would call the police. i would not wait more than 2 days to call the cops tho. otherwise they’ll wonder why you left it so long.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Cat Post author

      I decided I would leave out the cops, but only because I didn’t take the threat seriously. That doesn’t make it right and I will be looking for some kind of disciplinary action, but hopefully not dismissal for the idiot, I wouldn’t wish that. I will post the developments. thanks Kat

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
    1. Cat Post author

      It was a threat and my PTSD could have been put to the test. As it happens, I didn’t overreact and can see the note for what it is. he’s an idiot and deserves to be put right in some way, but I won’t involve the police just yet. thanks Amber. I’m still compiling my response to your email 🙂 Only joking, just haven’t had the time, but a lot of great stuff for me to think about. Thank you

      Like

      Reply
      1. sensuousamberville

        When you reply I have follow ups for you. I am composing a post as well. Please copy the note Cat and at least send it to his company personal dept. At the bottom mark “copy on file”

        Like

        Reply
  3. edwinasepisodes

    What an idiot! I would send a copy of the the note to the company and follow it up with a phone call a couple of days later, This arsehole threatened you, and it was him in the wrong. I should not think the company her works for would someone like that representing them!

    Like

    Reply
    1. Cat Post author

      He’s a first class plonker, but fortunately for him, I didn’t take it seriously, although that doesn’t excuse his behaviour or change what my response would be, he still gets a kick up the bottle either way! Cheers Edwina

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  4. therabbitholez

    I would write and complain, being an ex landlady i know the difficulties the drivers can have parking, however the powers that be will take a dim view of this,outrageous behaviour.

    Your impatience with Paul probably stems from this, also you want to be more in the driving seat in therapy I suspect, which means that your not only challenging your feelings, but wanting to deal with them too, it will take time for him to adjust to.

    I’m all agog about what happened in group on Friday!

    Take care 🙂 x

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Cat Post author

      I also did my stint in pubs and unfortunately for him, I knew exactly how to proceed right to his boss! Such a moron, but I didn’t take it too seriously.

      I should’ve said to Paul about the experience because how I was initially responding was important to my therapy, maybe that’s what I was avoiding.’

      Oh group might be a bit of an anti climax, but I’ll update on the delivery driver saga. Thanks Cay 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  5. Andi

    I would definitely report it- at least to the company. That is so unacceptable and he deserves retribution for such appalling behavior. I’m sorry this happened to you, especially right before a session 😦

    Like

    Reply
  6. A Million Thoughts

    Write or phone and please report it he was the one in the wrong. On the subject of Paul, you need time to be quiet and to talk! He doesn’t control the session you do.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Cat Post author

      I don’t know what came over Paul last week, he’s not normally like that, although that might be because I usually talk so much. I wouldn’t allow it to happen as a habit. Thank you so much

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  7. jamborobyn

    I’ve been dealing with outrageous behaviour from a bully this week also… Not letting someone push me around without having to lose my dignity to achieve the desired outcome was my goal. Used my “give em just enough rope” theory based on the ignorance of bullies. Heads were spinning and there were casualties but I’m not one of them – the balance of power has shifted around me as a result. A surprise. 🙂 I can only begin to imagine what happened with you on Friday but I reckon it will be spectacular.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Cat Post author

      Yes, they are bullies and when we stand up to them, it can feel empowering and can only bring renewed strength and courage. We deserve better than being bullied. Thanks Robyn

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  8. Rmj

    If I were in this situation I would revert back to what my therapist is teaching me. Do the opposite of your first response. If you don’t know what to do, do nothing until you figure it out. The right answer will come to you. You will figure it out.
    I think it’s great that you are not reacting quickly. That shows great emotional maturity.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Cat Post author

      Thank you, I didn’t quite recognise the delay in reaction until you pointed it out, although I didn’t delay too long because I knew it was more about not being afraid to say something is not okay. I appreciate your comment, thanks

      Like

      Reply
  9. New Journey

    What rude man…I would, If the business was close enough call and make an appointment with the boss/CEO, I would not get put off to a managerial level as a lot of time they let this BS slide..I would make sure that the Boss man knows what kind of man is on the front line of his business and ask if this is the kind of man you want representing your business…I would also point out that you were not illegally parked, he was and what if it had been a little ole ladies car, what vulgarity. I don’t blame you, I would be pissed off too.. and if I didn’t get anywhere at the business I would threaten to call an editor or the local news station….good luck on that, we all have to take a stand against bullies….

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Cat Post author

      Standing up to bullies is the most important lesson of the saga. Thank you so much, I will update in due course.

      Like

      Reply
  10. mandy

    Wow- classic Dumb Crook! You’ve got the details to report him Cat- no employer would be pleased with what he did. I’d report it too. I like your attitude- no more putting up with bullies!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  11. Jean

    I would go home and cry my eyes out and then try to sniffle through to a calmer place. Looking through these suggestions, I guess I would report it to the police (with Xeroxes of both sides of the note) and also to his company (again with Xeroxes.) I wouldn’t let go of the original. I would ask the police how to protect myself against retaliation. Living in the US, I don’t know how these things work in Scotland, so I’m not sure what would be useful to do.

    And I would count my blessing that I am me and not him!!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Cat Post author

      I didn’t cry, but maybe I am a little surprised by my delayed reaction, which was fairly mild in comparison to what it would’ve been like a couple of years ago. Lol yes I do count my blessings that I am not him on so many different levels, not just the wrath of his boss! Thank you, Jean

      Like

      Reply
  12. Sharon Alison Butt

    Milk it big time. Milk it like it’s your last cow. Send a copy of the note to the highest ranking person of the firm and tell them something to make them feel both guilty and scared. Then send a copy to the local manager putting ‘copy to Head Office’ at the top. Mention that you are reporting the incident to the local papers too. But i agree that it’s a waste of time going to the police. However, you should get someone to call their manager pretending to be the police and give them a stern warning. And yes, I would do all those things because we English people don’t complain enough. I always carry out my threats unlike most people who do nothing after their anger has subsided. It’s despicable what that person did and there is no excuse for it. It’s because idiots like him get away with such disgusting behaviour that they do it again and again. What if that note had been received by someone who was genuinely suicidal or who had just suffered a bereavement? People like that need to realise there are consequences for their thoughtless actions. Sorry that it happened to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Cat Post author

      Thanks Sharon, it was a horrible note to put on anyone’s car and I certainly did go right to his manager! I appreciate your concern and support… why don’t I just send you down to them!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  13. D.G.Kaye

    Serendipity Cat! I hope you send that note to the guy’s company. People just think nothing about the feelings of a human being in their anger. They’re eager to judge and condemn without thinking for a moment that there was a reason you were parked there, and not even illegally. He needs a lesson. And I hope you get back on track with your ‘session interrupted’. 🙂

    Like

    Reply
    1. Cat Post author

      Yes, I also had a disabled badge in my car window, which makes his bullying seem even worse, so maybe he did deserve his just desserts once I sent his boss the note! thank you, Debby

      Like

      Reply
  14. mandy

    God Cat this sounds so familiar. Seems every support group I’ve been in has that one “special” person that triggers the ” I’m going to have to stick a fork in my eye if you don’t shut the eff up” response. When you describe how it’ triggers those memories of your mum, I could understand completely. It was really perfect you had the undivided attention of your two group leaders. You’ve needed that. I think it’s good for them to get some real insight into what goes on inside of members heads. Maybe they can pay closer attention and intervene when it is necessary. I guess the next visit is over now so I hope something positive happened.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Cat Post author

      Ha sometimes I feel like sticking a forking fork in his eyes or his big self-absorbed gob. He wasn’t at last Friday’s session, it seems I’ve affected him badly because I was nasty when I said “if I say anything it wouldn’t be very nice” I’ve learned one thing, though Mandy, sometimes it is better just to come out and say someone pisses us off because to leave him with the statement I made, must have played on his mind wondering what on earth I meant.. Thanks, Mandy

      Like

      Reply

Your feedback counts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s