Daily Prompt Tainted Love

I don’t usually do daily prompts but something about this one made me think of something in my distant past.

Daily Prompt: Tainted Love

by Krista

Ever been dumped by a boyfriend or girlfriend? Was it a total surprise, or something you saw coming? Tell us your best worst breakup story. Never been the dumpee, always the dumper? Relate the story of a friend who got unceremoniously kicked to the curb. Change the names to protect the innocent if you must.

No editing…. Here goes

I should have seen in coming.  Actually, I probably did see it coming, but I loved him with all my heart.  Looking back on it now, with my middle-aged brain, it was doomed from the start.

I was 29 and feeling very vulnerable following a very bad time in my life.  Andrew was 28 and already separated from a wife and three young children.  Yes, I know, I can hear those alarm bells now, but they are 21 years too late.

We met through mutual friends.  He was a tall blond attractive bloke who seemed eager to become friends.  I had been single for 3 years and remember that eagerness to meet someone and settle down.

In his eager pursuit of romance, he made me feel special.  The memories of the silly romantic gestures are too embarrassing to own up to now, but let’s just say I was wined, dined and showered with gifts.  How could I resist?

Our friendship meant the most to me.  We enjoyed the 90’s pubbing and clubbing scene and then the quiet nights in.  It wasn’t long before I was packing up my flat and moving into his place.

What hadn’t occurred to me was his baggage.  His sexuality was tearing him away from his soon to be ex-wife and three very young children.  At the time, I didn’t appreciate the torment he must have been going through.

At first, I was supportive.  I did understand his depression, but I made the mistake of becoming too forgiving of the escalating verbal abuse.

It all moved up a notch one night when we were travelling home and having an almighty argument in the car.  He stopped the car in the middle of nowhere, opened the passenger door, pushed me out and then screeched off, leaving me stranded in the pitch darkness.

Over the 5 years we were together, I lost count of the number of times he threw me out onto the street.  The hurt and humiliation is still quite powerful today.

Each episode ended with him on his knees begging forgiveness, more gifts and more broken promises.

He eventually wanted to live apart, one of those “trial separations/but really I’m cheating” scenario’s.  By now I could see it coming.  It was like an obsession that was breaking my heart, I couldn’t give him up, even when I discovered he was cheating.  He was a slut

One weekend, he wanted to spend time at my flat in Glasgow.  He was looking forward to a good weekend, but I had something different in mind.  Revenge.  We partied until the early hours and then went for a drive into the countryside, to our favourite spot overlooking Glasgow with beautiful views of the stars.  This time we were in my car.

When he went for a pee, I knew it was now or never, he had it coming.  Something wicked but bravely strong forced me to drive off and leave him stranded under the stars.

It took me a long time to get over him and the abuse, but I never did see or speak to Andrew again.

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47 thoughts on “Daily Prompt Tainted Love

      1. panikikubik

        You’re so welcome. I can relate to mysel in this story being the one who’s alway forgiving and forgiving and forgetting to stand up fo rmyself. Because I do so eagerly want to understand the other person.

        Great job that you drove away from him. But I do understand that it still must be a big grief. And a big loss.
        Take care !

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  5. Meghna N

    The commendable thing is that you did leave him stranded. It must’ve been understandably hard but at least you can talk about it. That is progress.
    Take care 🙂

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  14. halfasoul

    As everyone else here has said, no one could blame you and this guy definitely had it coming. I have been in the same boat (except without the opportunity for revenge, boo) and wished so many horrible things would happen to this person… but they never did, and all I’m left with is twisted and broken insides, along the lines of “revenge is a medicine you take yourself and expect someone else to die,” blah blah etc. I now know that I will never be truly healed until I can forgive him and release all those thoughts. Not that that’s anywhere remotely attainable yet… :S Best of luck on your heart’s journey and know that you and your true happiness are so much more important than this douchebag xxxxx

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    1. Cat Post author

      It did take many years to heal from this “douchebag”. It is only through this post that I realise this so-called relationship is now something of the past. I’m not keen on this idea of forgiving ‘them’ before we can find healing. That concept seems to give them too much power over us I think healing comes from being able to let go and make peace with ourselves. Perhaps it is also more about forgiving ourselves. It’s a long process, but I wish you peace.

      Thank you for taking the time to comment

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  15. Mandy

    Cat, dear Cat. This is a beautiful (though painful) post. I loved the ending, too. Your writing, honesty, is the reason I keep nominating you for awards. I know they are work (some feel silly) but it’s the only way I can acknowledge what you sharing your experience means to me. So, today I posted another nomination for you for the Not Freshly Pressed Award. (And I don’t know if you HAVE been freshly pressed–you should be 🙂

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    1. Cat Post author

      Thanks, Mandy. Sorry for the delay in replying. I’ve been going through a bad patch. Thank you for the nomination. I am always really touched to receive nominations, but you must forgive me that I find the process a little daunting. Your support and appreciation is greatly appreciated, thank you! Oh! And congratulations on your own nomination for this award, you definitely deserve every one

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  16. releasing lunacy

    I’m sorry you were treated so poorly. You definitely deserved better!!

    Hope you’re doing well. Sorry I haven’t been keeping up w/ blogs the past couple months. But, you’re in my thoughts often.

    (((safe hugs)))
    rl

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    1. Cat Post author

      Thank you, Rl, I’ve not been too great with blogs either and you are also often in my thoughts. Life has been tough after loosing both my darling cats in the space of 12 weeks. I hope you’re doing okay (((((big hugs)))

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